KMart Blues Walmart Blues at Ch 10
by Rei Lerdia Swiftwood
Summary: You guessed it! The cast has moved onto KMart! RR! Sequel to Walmart Blues
1. Oh The Insanity

Note: Due to recent threats on my life, I am making this a sequel to Walmart Blues. It is called K-Mart Blues. I figured I would use since it would be just as funny whether or not it was in the same place. Anyway, on with the story!

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With everyone being kicked out of Walmart, it was time to find a new place to crash. The cast that was left in Walmart headed down the street, which drew a great deal of attention in their direction. None of which cared. They walked past the movie theaters and fast food places past the Petco and Washington Mutual Banks. Finally they grew tired of this and sat down. 

"What are we gonna do?' whined Minka. Legolas patted her shoulder comfortingly.

"We'll think of something love" he said softly, holding her close.

"Oh bloody hell. Get over yourselves!" said Zero in an irritated tone. She was very upset over the loss of Walmart. 

"We had such a good business…" groaned Learoyd as he kicked a can along that hit a car and caused an accident. "What should we…CARTS!" he jumped up and dashed across the street.

"He's hungry again" Zero started after him. Learoyd snatched a cart.

"Come on. Race ya to that store" everyone, not really in the mood to argue, each obtained a cart and lined up. 

"Ready… Set… GO!" yelled Learoyd. Everyone took off at a fast pace. They raced to the door and Legolas won. 

"Yay!" Minka said happily giving him a hug. 

"Hey you kids saved us time. We are kind of short on staff. Care to help us?" said a man walking out of the building.

"Uhh sure?" said Zero standing closest to him.

"Excellent. Come with me all of you" he ushered them into the building.

"Looks like Walmart!" said the hobbits happily.

"No this is K-Mart."

TBC…

Hehehehehehe


	2. Departments!

Note: thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em comin'! 

The man showed them around K-Mart. At each department, he instructed a few people to wait until he got back. 

Woman's department:

Minka and Zero

Men's Department: 

Legolas and Learoyd

Sporting Goods:

Frodo and Sam

Baby Care: 

Pippin and Merry

The manager knew there would have to be some changes but he would start each group off where they were, then change it later. For now, he was starting off with Merry and Pippin. He explained where things went on the shelves and stuff of that nature. He was impressed at how quickly the hobbits learned and then swiftly moved on to teaching them how to handle the customers. A woman walked over and the manager told Merry to help her.

"Welcome to uhh K-Mart. How can I assist you?" he said politely.

"I need to figure out which blanket if better for my child," she said curtly. 

"OH well, we have a wonderful assortment of blankets. Would you like…" he led the woman off and helped her. When they were done, she said that the service there was better than Walmart. With that in mind, the manager headed off to speak with Minka and Zero…

TBC…

Hehehehe fun times


	3. Failed Plan

Note: Nothing to report

*******

Minka and Zero had set up battle plans while the manager was gone. 

"Ok we need to go here then here. We might have to cross this and go there," said Minka, pointing to various things on the map.

"What about this? We could go here then there," said Zero also pointing to a part on the map.

"Ok. We'll go here and here then circle back to here" 

"Ok" Minka and Zero broke down the maps and hid them once more. Minka looked left then right then slipped away silently behind the clothes racks. A moment later the manger walked over.

"Where's Minka?"

"She uh…went…to uh…. Jack In The Box! That's right. She said she wanted you to meet her there" said Zero quickly. 

"Oh well, all right I guess. Don't move Ok" he walked away. With a heavy sigh, Zero dashed after Minka. Minka, in the meanwhile, was ducking behind shoes racks and trying to remain uncaught, by anyone. 

"Minka?" asked a voice. Minka whirled around and then Zero ducked.

"Whoa! Watch them fists girl. Let's go" said Zero. Minka growled something like "watch it" and they started off again. After ducking around some more racks they say the Men's Department, where Legolas and Learoyd were. Both looked very bored. Minka and Zero skittered across the isle and then froze. There was the manager.

"OH how lovely. I just changed the partners. Zero, you're with Legolas in the Gardening and Minka and Learoyd are in the film department" said the manger. Zero and Minka looked at each other, looked at Legolas and Learoyd then fell over backwards. (AKA Anime style fall) 

TBC…

Am I evil? Naw, I'm gifted!


	4. Trouble Begins

Note: Err…. Is this thing on? Guess so… Anywho.. Enjoy!

******

"GARDENING!" shrieked Legolas in horror. 

"Oh god…." moaned Zero pitifully as she and Legolas were taken to the Gardening part of K-Mart. She followed slowly, while Legolas was plotting revenge on the owner of K-Mart. 

"Ok. Legolas, you'll be working the hoses and water system while Zero will be stocking flowers and remember you too. Smile" he said happily and walked back inside to instruct Minka and Learoyd next. The Elf kicked the water can then hopped around on one foot.

"Stupid can…" he grumbled and kicked it again and would have had a perfect field goal, had Zero not walked into the way. She got hit with the can and collapsed in pain. 

"LEGOLAS! YOU BLOODY FOOL!" she screamed at him. He snickered and then ducked as the can came back at him.   
"Its not my fault the guy hired us Zero."

"But it is YOUR fault that the can hit me!" she growled back. 

"You just can't catch Zero" he retorted with a smile. 

"If you weren't property of Minka, I'd pound you in the ground Elf."

"Bring it on!" 

"No problem!!" Yelled Zero, leaping at Legolas. Both went down on a cloud of dust and flower petals. When the dust cleared, the manager was standing there. 

"What in blazes happened?" Zero and Legolas stood up slowly. Their clothes were ripped in places and dirty in others. Zero had a black eye and Legolas had bruises on his face.

"Zero, come with me" he said and lead her away. Legolas had faces at her the whole time. Minutes later, Minka dashed out into the Gardening section and hugged Legolas tightly. 

"Zero! Thank god its you!" Learoyd said happily hugging her. 

"Uhhh hey Learoyd." said Zero, hugging back.

"Don't leave me with Minka again. Please don't!" he pleaded.

"I wont promise"

TBC…

Hahahaha evil genius strikes again!


	5. Rabid Children

Note: Forced Writing…

*****

Zero and Learoyd were happy to finally be away from the others. They assisted several people then decided to go to eat at Jack In The Box. 

"Welcome to Jack off the Box…I mean.. Jack In the Box. How can I help you?" asked Mike, a young man behind the counter.

"We want two number 3's please" said Learoyd. 

"that will be $6.75" Learoyd handed over the money and they got their food a few moments later.

"Uhhh Learoyd.. Why is there a roach in my fries?"

"For flavor?"

"OH…"

Legolas and Minka groaned loudly.

"Yes. You're acting tour guides right now to a group of kindergarteners. Be nice" said the manager. 

"But but but but I hate children!" yelled Minka. 

"Uhhh please don't make us go do this" said Legolas

"Do it or you're fired" the manager walked away. A group of 20 children walked over and smiled.

"Hello Miss and Mister" they said together. Legolas looked to Minka and Minka looked to Legolas.

"Oh god no" they both said…

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" wailed Minka as climbed a pole in K-Mart. Legolas was doing the same but failing. He was attacked by the children.

"NO!" yelled Minka as she leapt into the crowd of "rabid" children.

TBC….

I am evil to the bone. )


	6. Jack In The Box

Note: Sorry it's been awhile. Been hacking up my lungs on a daily basis.

*******

On the other side of the store, Zero and Learoyd had wandered away from their department in search of food. They held no high hopes of having some good food in K-Mart but they would find something. They walked around for roughly five minutes until they found food.

"Welcome to Jack off the Box…err…Jack in the Box. Can I help you?" beamed a cheery young man. Zero looked at him closely…

"Mike?"

"Uhh h-hey Zero. How have you been?" replied Mike.

"Fine…" she said, narrowing her eyes at him. After both had ordered and got their food, they sat down.

"You know him?" asked Learoyd

"Yes. Old school friend" replied Zero. They finished eating and were leaving when they heard.  
"No I will NOT go out with you Mike!" yelled Mike. The Other Mike groaned and made yet another pass. Mike (The straight one) dashed from the other and hide quickly.

"Aren't you going to…"  
"No. Lets go!" Zero grabbed Learoyd by the collar and lead him away.

TBC…

Inspired by partially true events. 


	7. Good Ol' Leth Gets A Job

Note: Sorry it's been awhile

*************

Zero and Learoyd had been caught and ordered back to their posts. They went slowly of course then slipped away once more once the manager's back was turned. Rei and Lindaran had been paired up to bring in the carts from the parking lot and put them all in one spot. Rei sighed and grabbed a cart but it didn't move. She looked down and there was Leth.

"Leth?"

"Huh? Oh hi Rei!" he smiled brightly.

"Whatcha here for?"

"Oh just to buy a few things you know, tissues, pens, paper…the normal" he replied. Leth walked in with Rei and Lindaran.

"No I will not sell to you. K-Mart and Walmart are different!" yelled the manger into the phone. He looked up and said, "I'll call you back" he hung up. "Whose he?"

"Just a friend. This is Leth." Said Rei then slipped off to work.   


"Hello. Can you work a register?" asked the manger.

"Uhh yes?" replied Leth slowly before he was dragged off. The manager shoved him behind a counter and smiled.

"Welcome to the club" the manager patted Leth on the shoulder and left.

"Uhh…help?" Leth looked about boredly before a customer showed up. He rang the man up and he left. 

"That's not so hard. I could like this job" he smiled happily before a woman with a very large cart full of items came up…

TBC…

Hehehe I had to give Leth a job, why? Cuz he is deprived of one IRL. 


	8. Too Long

Author Note: Before I lose my head, arms, legs or anything else… here's the next chapter!

************

Two weeks passed and there was one very boring day. Minka and Legolas were sitting in lawn chairs in their department. No one had been there all day and it was passed noon. Zero yawned and leaned back in her chair. Learoyd blinked and continued to play solitaire. It was a boring day however the manager would let no one go home early. Leth walked around and ran into Rei. 

"You should become a poet Leth" commented Rei.

"I cant Rei. If you continue to pick on me, then I should pick on your writing skills" retorted Leth with a smile. 

"Bah! I cant write stories or anything" she waved it off. Leth sighed and patted her shoulder.

"Have faith Swiftwood"

"Have faith Leth!" she smiled back. Lindaran grinned and took aim at Letharius. He shot…his water gun at Leth and then Rei.

"HEY!" both yelled before taking off after the Elf.

"Max, what was that?" asked a young man sweeping the floor.

"The new crew" sighed Max boredly "This will be a long day Tom" 

TBC…

Hehehehe! I have the couple of workers who get bored and then have to flee for their lives! I am EVIL! 

**Rei, and Leth look at each other and then run soon followed by Minka, Learoyd, Max, Tom, and Lindaran… leaving the asleep Legolas to the Author's evil plan…**


	9. Sleep Is For The Weak

Due to the boring nature of this story, its being redone.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Legolas groaned as he sat down on the bench. Minka sat beside him.  
  
"There must be something we can do Legolas. This is not working" whined Minka. "I know love I know. Ah ha! Minka, Call a meeting!" Legolas dashed off.  
  
Hours later. "So that is what we can do" crickets chirped as Legolas stopped talking. Everyone had either fallen asleep or were staring at Legolas like he was nuts. "Take back Walmart? That's crazy" proclaimed Gimli, with the nods of several others. "Come on guys. Kmart isn't for us. Walmart is!" said Rei as she stood beside her cousin. Lindaran also stood beside his wife and brother-in-law. "We can do it!" Moments passed before cheers rang out. Hours of planning and tests came and went quickly before they all stood before Walmart's doors. "The time has come my friends. WALMART IS OURS!" yelled Legolas as they all ran into the store. or would have had the doors not be locked. Everyone groaned and fell to the ground save Rei and Lindaran who collapsed in fits of laughter. Frodo and Sam blinked then smirked as they walked away around the back to see if anything was open. Mission Impossible Theme blared around them as they worked. "Mr. Frodo." "Yes Sam?" "Why is music playing?"  
  
"I don't know Sam. Maybe they like you?" Sam sweat dropped and then went back to unlocking the main doors. By then, everyone was back on their feet, rubbing their backsides in anger at Legolas who was sheepishly hiding behind his love. Once they were all inside the doors slammed shut and locked. Shifting her eyes, Rei noted that something was wrong when the lights went out. A scream echoed.  
  
  
  
TBC.  
  
Legolas: You cant stop there! Author: *is asleep* Rei: HEY! WAKE UP! *kicks the Author* Author: *wakes up* Huh? What? Who? Where? In the library with the candle stick!! *blinks* oh.. *nervous laugh* Sorry bout that guys. Been awhile since I have done this. Anywho... Legolas and Rei: *falls over anime style, feet in the air with dumb looks on their faces* Rei: This is hopeless.. Legolas: We are doomed.. Author: Oh Happy Day ) 


	10. The Long Awaited Something Or Other

Well… how should I put this… Uhh I'll just say it in plain English… I'm BACK! *Stupid evil music that dies because the author shoved a knife in the DJ's heart* Ok! On with the LONG overdue story ..update thingy…

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A scream right well it turned out to be nothing more than those damn annoying screaming witches you find at Halloween. The screaming stopped because of two reasons. One: Learoyd tackled it in no time thinking it was none other than food and Two: it had three arrows in its head form the elves. That settled, Legolas (Minka clinging to him) went to find the light switch thing. Finding it, he turned it on. 

What can I say well.. There wasn't a damn thing in sight. I mean aside from shelves and items and more shelves…

Anyway!

There was a young person standing there with a clipboard. Zero and Learoyd stalked over and past the person, investigating their old stomping ground. Most everyone ignored the person save for Minka. She stormed over and grabbed the person by the collar. Legolas was standing behind her begging her to put the person down. 

"Hunny please don't kill the person" begged Legolas

"You what happened to Rubi?!" demanded Minka, backing down not in her list of 25 words.

"Uhh… she was shipped off to Mexico. Someone called.. Air… Are… air something other wanted her there. She there right now so I took over. I'm Two" held out a friendly hand. Minka dropped the person to the ground and then tackled Legolas

"WE ARE HOME AT LAST!"

Elsewhere In a galaxy far far… *Smack* ok it was across the street.

"Whatcha think their doing?"

"I don't know"

"Should we call the boss"

"Yes"

"Ok"

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Ok. That HOPEFULLY will go over well. I didn't place a gender on Two since I have to ask Two what gender Two is. Anyway!

Enjoy and please R/R I'd love it and I got two more chapters lined up given I get reviews again. Thanks


	11. Walmart Anyone?

"Dum dee dum dum… Oh hello there. This is my special train called …" TV flickers off. Howdy folks. No I was just watching Mister Rogers Neighborhood. I miss it ok not really. If you are reading this, I'll have to kill you.

Little background

I moved hence I didn't write.

I was depressed hence I didn't write.

I started writing again thanks to Midnight. Thanks Midnight.

Onward hoe! 

Wrong ho you idiot!

Sorry!

*****************************

Many… seconds passed since the group had been back into Walmart. It was like being home.. Well that's because they were! Zero and Learoyd had taken once more to their back room… funny noises still come from there. Minka and Legolas had the garden section (Not Legolas's choice mind you). The hobbits were back at McDonalds… and anyone else whose there was somewhere.

Two was so happy to see anyone in the store that Two hired them on the spot for their old jobs. This made everyone happy… no happy isn't the word. They were beyond words at this point.

Days later, a man walked into the store and approached the counter where Zero was sitting. She was flipping through a magazine not a care in the world like always. Learoyd and the hobbits were stocking a shelf nearby.

"Excuse me Miss?" came a voice from over the top of her magazine. 

"What?"

"Do you have books here?" Zero rolled her eyes.

"Yea"

"Are they for sale?" Zero fell over backwards. Learoyd and the hobbits looked over. All their jaws dropped. Zero flew up and started screaming. 

"You Bloody Fool! What The he-…. Elrond?" She tilted her head to the side as she looked at the half elf. He gave a broad grin and just walked away.

"What the hell was that!?" The hobbits shrugged.

"Mmm fries" was all that came from Learoyd.

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Well…. Muhahahahaha. *chokes sounds heard* *Rei runs over and slaps the author on the back* "You ok?" Author shoves Rei away then brandishes a smile…. Before passing out. *Thanks Midnight for the ideas*


	12. Guess Whose Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Three in a row… must be bad luck I mean good luck. Thanks again Midnight for the ideas!!

Nothing else

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In the sporting goods section of Walmart….

"I shall be dead before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!" various muttered words echoed then a obvious fake voice said. "I shall take it. I shall take it. I shall take the ring to Mordor.. Though… I do not know the way."

Another voice kicked in "I shall help you. As long as it is yours to- "  
"What the hell are you doing?!" Legolas was standing with his hands on his hips watching Gimli and A-Recently-Returned-From-Mexico-Because-The-Author-Says-So Aragorn. There on the counter of the knives and whatever was a miniature of the Council of Elrond. Gimli looked up. 

"We have to have something to do Elf"

"What's the harm in this Legolas?" asked Aragorn. Legolas considered it then took on a rather uncharacteristic look. 

"Let me play!" he said with a much too excited grin on his face.

Hours of play ensued before Elrond caught them.

Legolas had a bow and was firing… Nerf arrows at Gimli who was fending off Aragorn with a plastic sword that pirates used.

Elrond took one look at them and stopped. Gimli dove in front of him and a Nerf arrow got stuck in Elrond's long hair. Legolas grinned a little then took off when he saw Elrond's vein in his forehead start to pulse…

Aragorn stood up. "Why are you running?" he laughed and turned around then screamed very much so like a girl and took off running.

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….'Nough said *Author goes to bed with another story idea in her twisted little head*


End file.
